Preface to Excellence

     "The body achieves what the mind believes." Upon first glance it appears to be no more than a clever dictum one may read on an inspirational sayings website.  Truth be told I cannot even remember where or when in my life I saw this quote for the first time, but from the moment I did it stuck with me.  I would be lying if I said that I fully understood the meaning behind it at first, I just thought it was a witty rhyme.

     My story is a direct reflection of why this quote has so much truth and meaning.  For those who truly wish to empower themselves, harness their potential, and achieve that which they thought was impossible, they would do well to engrave this statement into your mind.  Take into account my story, see that there is nothing that one cannot attain when one truly believes.  Note the emphasis on that word!  One cannot simply wake up and decide that today is the big day that everything will change.  Really believing is waking up every single day and telling yourself that you can and that you will.  The journey to achieving is not an easy one.  There are times when it feels like it would much better to just give up and accept mediocrity.  This is not believing, this is complacency.  It is the attitude that keeps anyone wishing to do more with themselves from pushing past the boundaries of average into the realm new possibilities.  Complacency is a noun that is best accompanied by words such as can't, won't, impossible, futile, inaccessible, infeasible, unattainable, irrealizable and unthinkable.  These, and all words like it should be stricken from the vocabulary for it is these words that keep you from truly believing.  

     Just for a moment imagine being the fat kid growing up.  Now I'm sure a lot of you don't have to imagine, I know I didn't.  Not only was I fat, but their were points in my life where I was embarrassingly fat.  My journey is one that can relate with many in this world, but only up to a certain point.  It is at that point where the list narrows down to very few.  If you are thinking to yourself that this is another account of a weight loss story then you are partially correct.  However, my story differs in the sense of what I'm trying to convey to you.  

     I always thought that being fat was just the way it was, that it was in my genes.  Obesity was something not all uncommon in my family, as it is in every day life.  I tried not to let it get to me.  Growing up I always wore a smile on my face.  I always tried to make those around me happy in any way I could which was usually by making them laugh, a practice not uncommon in those with self image issues.  Despite constantly trying to gain the acceptance of others, I was still picked on, as it tends to be with children.  Granted, I wasn't all that fat as a child, just pudgy, or jolly as I liked to call it.  Over the years I gradually put on more and more weight and the picking turned into torment.  I was constantly being ridiculed for how I was.  Not a day went by where at some point I would look in the mirror and ask myself why this was happening to me.  Why do people pick on me so bad even though I'm so nice?  Why can't I just be skinny?!  

     Upon reaching high school I finally realized that I had some athletic potential.  I started lifting weights, I started playing sports, my confidence was creeping up ever so slightly.  Unfortunately, I was still fat and the ridicule continued to come my way.  At that point however, I stopped caring as much about being picked on, but the days always came where I felt like there was no hope, that I was just going to be overweight forever.  

     Doesn't this seem like the perfect place for the change?  Aren't you thinking to yourself, "will his torment never end?!"  Unfortunately, things didn't really change much for me after high school.  There were periods where I would go up and down in weight, hitting 280 pounds then exercising and dieting my way back to 260, but I still won't truly believe for several more years.  

     In college I found the amazing sport of rugby!  I also dedicated much of my time to the gym, getting stronger and stronger, to the point where I could perform impressive feats of brute force.  I had become quite the immovable wall so to speak and yet I was still fat.  Even during these, the first times in my life where I was somewhat comfortable with being who I was, I couldn't understand why I wasn't achieving the picture in my mind of what I should be.   I constantly wished for results that I hadn't fully committed to attaining.  Oh the agony!  Oh woe is me!  I was still fat.

     Hitting rock bottom is both physically and psychologically devastating, but this is where the most incredible change can take place.  In the years following my first round of college I truly became disturbingly overweight.  I ballooned up to almost 400 pounds!  My waist inflated from the size 44 that I was accustomed to all the way up to a size 58!  I cannot put into words the depression and numbness that took over my life during these, the dark times.  I can tell you though that without this period in my life that I would not have truly believed.  

     One morning it hit me.  I woke up and realized that if I didn't make some serious changes, that if I didn't commit, I was going to die a young man.  This early death wouldn't be in an epic way like from wrestling a grizzly bear or base jumping over an active volcano, but in a hospitable bed or on a surgical table.  This is when it happened.  I stopped feeling sorry for myself for the state of my health.  I stopped blaming everything and everyone else and took accountability for the true culprit, me.  My trip back from the brink began with the gym and exercise.  I started researching new ways to improve myself, always changing, always adjusting.  This new phase of my life was not without it's ups and downs.  Nothing worth having is easy, and my life part two was anything but!  There were many times that I wanted to give up and go back to the way things were.  There were times when I let the "good enough" mentality creep in.  These were the times where I hunkered down and pushed even harder.  I continued to expand my knowledge of fitness, to do things that I never thought possible.  Then I discovered nutrition.

     There are things that I can tell you about the body, how it works, what it does with the nourishment we provide it and how the end result ends up staring back at us in the mirror, but that is a whole different chapter in my story.  I currently weigh in at 215 pounds.  I wear a size 33-34 jeans.  I have a body fat percentage in the range of 7-12%.  All of these results I attained through hard work, perseverance, dedication, and sheer force of will.  I truly believe that I can achieve.  If anyone out there has hard time believing what I am telling you then allow me to include with this story a little picture evidence of what can happen when you truly believe in yourself.  The following are real pictures of the old me:

Here I am on the left at after my sisters HS graduation.

 

Here I am on the left with my brothers and cousins, note that I am not smiling.

I know that I wasn't the most obese person on earth, but being 370 pounds was anything but fun.  Now here a some pictures of me now, after my journey and after truly believing:

 

 

This is what can happen when you apply yourself.  Lose some weight, gain some confidence and now suddenly the world is my oyster!  I compete in Crossfit competitions and Spartan races.  I have trained myself to stand up paddleboard, and in doing so have earned a few 1st place finishes with more to come!  All it took was truly believing.  

     This is just the first of many stories to come, a brief synopsis of my tale alone is not enough for everyone to be convinced.  I empowered myself, and now I hope to empower others.  Make sure to keep an eye out for my blog as I continue the journey.  Truly believing never stops.  Once you start down this path, the opportunities are endless.